Darling Mum-Mum

My darling Mom, your death happened so suddenly. I can’t soften what I feel by using words like passing or loss. It’s hard to make sense of your death. ‘God knows best’ or ‘Everything happens for a reason’ seems meaningless to me. I take comfort in you once telling us that you’ve lived a long and happy life and also in saying that Daddy would want us to find ways to cope after he died. I know you will also want us to find ways to cope; it will be really difficult. You will be terribly missed.

You were always supportive of all we did and raised us with love and kindness. I can proudly say you’ve done an amazing job. The are so many skills I want to be good at but I don’t want to be good at writing tributes. Two in a year is too much to bear.

I am broken, I am weak, I am angry and I am questioning a lot about life and our existence. I will keep striving in spite of all, accepting the things I cannot change, taking each moment at a time, each day at time, while I try to make sense of the new normal of not having you here.

Preparations for your funeral have been emotionally challenging and surreal. But it is the responsibility of the living to celebrate and honor the dead and we will do exactly that for you, Mom. You will always be in my heart and my mind. Eleti oku nne m oma! You stayed strong for us when Daddy died, I know it wasn’t easy. Rest well Mom, we will be okay.